The Marauders Documentary
by nachodragonkat
Summary: The marauders try to make a documentary and everything seems to go wrong... R&R please


*The Marauders Documentary minus Voldemort plus Everyone Else*  
  
By Nacho  
  
Disclaimer: I am disclaiming the Harry Potter characters, and all the other ones from Lord of the Rings, CSI, Rocky Horror and The Ring.  
  
A/N: I spent an hour writing this, fast eh? Hope you like it.  
  
And now.says someone in a deep important voice, "The Marauders".  
  
"I am Remus" says Remus with a straight faced. "I am Sirius" says Sirius trying not to smile. "I am James" says James giggling softly. "I am Peter" says Peter glumly.  
  
"This is our documentary of. "Sirius fades out. "Us" chime in Remus and James. "Here is a recap of what has happened so far" Peter says in a manner that makes everyone think he is reading off a card. (Which he is)  
  
"I am a werewolf" says Remus trying to show non-existent fangs and look frightening. "I am wanted for murder" says Sirius while drawing happy faces and flowers n the wall. "I am dead" says James nodding with wide solemn eyes. "I betrayed him" says Peter who was casting nervous glances at Sirius who was growling softly at him. "I killed him" says Lord Voldemort smiling with thin lips.  
  
"Wait, you don't come on until later" shouts Peter then mumbles "master" in an apologetic tone and bows deeply. "I am the dark lord in this story, I can come on whenever I wish" says Voldemort crossing his arms. "No you can't" started the director "I'm directing this documentary and if you think." he was cut short by a flash of green light and he slumped down into his fancy director's chair (but since people don't die in movies he should be fine)  
  
"I call being director" yells Sirius, jumping up and pushing the 'dead' director onto the floor. The dead director hit the ground with a thud and muttered something that sounded extremely like "stupid mutt". "Hey" yelled James "corpses don't talk".  
  
The dead director stood up, brushed himself off and glared at the odd looking group, consisting of a rattish man standing there looking slightly frightened, a werewolf (wearing a Hawaiian shirt and cool looking shades), a dead guy with glasses and dark messy hair, a dark lord who had a strong resemblance to a snake and a big shaggy dog sitting in his fancy directors chair where the thin man used to be.  
  
"I. I quit" says the dead director "and I'm not dead so quit calling me that!" the dead director who thinks he isn't dead said as he stalked out of the building, never to been seen or heard from again because he actually was dead. (This is a documentary not a movie so people die for real).  
  
Sirius coughs "ok" he says breaking the silence "as my first act as director, I say that all the dark lords are not allowed to come into stories whenever they wish, and Voldemort is not allowed in ours". "But that's not fair" exclaims Voldemort "your all on my to kill list now".  
  
"But it is fair because this is a documentary of The Marauders and just so there is no confusion, why don't we rename our documentary 'The Marauders Documentary minus Voldemort'" says Peter diplomatically "you're supposed to be loyal to me wormtail" mentions Voldemort crossly.  
  
"He's just being fair Voldemort, besides I can't be on your to kill list, you already killed me" says James grinning widely, stating the obvious.  
  
Voldemort vanishes from the scene as Remus interrupts "how about for your second act as director to make the traitorous rat director so he won't be seen in our documentary, only heard about". "Minimally" barked Sirius as he changed back to a human "well thought out, moony" "I thought so to padfoot, anyway where were we" "we had just mentioned me being dead" shouted James from the window where he had been shooting elastics at everyone in sight.  
  
"Alright then, well." Remus started when he was interrupted (most rudely I might add) by an elfin camera crew bursting into their room followed by Merry and Pippin commenting on how nice second breakfast, elevenses and luncheon is in Hollywood.  
  
The Marauders stared in wonder as the two hobbits were followed by Frodo, who was being lectured about using The Ring as a drug by Gandalf. At the mention of The Ring, James, who was still by the window, saw a young girl with long black hair and a white dress climb out of an old stone well he hadn't noticed before. She was muttering about people having nothing better to do then watch unmarked tapes and waste her time.  
  
About and hour of chaos and a whole lot of confusion later, Grissom and Catherine from the crime lab show up to examine Legolas who has turned green, squishy and dead. Riff and Magenta were having 'elbow sex' while Frank was denying he ever owned an ice pick. Remus shook his head as at the young girl in the white dress was telling Grissom that she didn't mean things to happen, they just do.  
  
Sirius, Remus and James decide to leave all this havoc up to the new director Peter, who was cowering in the fancy director's chair trying to get away from everyone. "So much for our documentary" Sirius says "yah" agrees James "we should have called it The Marauders Documentary minus Voldemort plus Everyone Else". 


End file.
